A friend of mine just mentioned that the people included in her nanny share have a filthy house and while she's kind of appalled about it, she doesn't want to be a total bitch and tell them their house is funkay. She jokingly said she might drop a hint about how her cleaning service is so awesome.
There is nothing more embarrassing (yes, I'm being a bit dramatic) than being overweight and saying that you love to watch The Biggest Loser. Because inevitably, the person you're talking to raises their eyebrow like "Oh yeah? Gathered any tips on how to deal with your chunky ass?" And the hints, they come a-droppin'.
How do you tell someone that you've been in a life-long battle and right now, with a crazy job, a toddler, and a husband you're trying not to forget in the shuffle that you're just TIRED? I mean, without unloading some seriously raw shit to someone with whom you're just casually chatting.
I've been fat since I was 8 years old. I was a skinny, skinny kid and then around third grade, I just got HUNGRY. I was 131 pounds when I was 10 years old. Although compared to TBL's Ron who just admitted that he was 200 pounds when he was 9, I guess I was pretty svelte, but not compared to my skinnier classmates back in 1988. And it just roller-coastered from there: Fatty-fat until age 15 when I went on Jenny Craig and lost a bunch of weight and was finally "normal"; developed a bit of a bulimia habit in my last year of HS and early college years; gained later in college and the first years in the workforce; lost a bunch before my wedding on Weight Watchers; gained; lost; got pregnant (at my heaviest weight ever, fun!) but had an awesome pregnancy and dropped the weight pretty quickly (about 9 months); now I'm working on my fat girl weight. 70 pounds to go.
But I've been working on those 70 pounds for a long time and I'm stalled right now. Not sure if it's the big drop in weight over the last year (about 60 pounds of both pregnancy weight and fat girl weight) or what. With so far to go it can get frustrating.
Until those mofos on TBL get on their scales every season and blow away past numbers of being huge. Even after losing 115 pounds, this season's Kristen is still heavier than I am. Granted, she will be a stick by the finale and I'll probably still be at my weight, but for now, this is solace. Yeah, it's inspirational that they are changing their lives and yay isn't that awesome, but some of my pleasure in watching TBL is in the small vindication I get when people have basically killed themselves and my ass is on the couch eating a cookie and we're the same. For one brief moment, we're same.
And I got to have cookies.
What I'd love to tell Kristen, though, is that I follow her because we are now very similar in weight and I do find inspiration in her--her efforts do push me to maybe eat one less cookie while parked on the couch. If nothing else, she's inspiration to stay at least a few pounds below her so I can continue my smugfest. Hey, it's inspiration nonetheless.
No comments:
Post a Comment