Putting the Oy in Employee

So I have this employee. She takes up a lot of my time, including yesterday where I had to drive down to our sales office (a number of hrs away), solely to have a meeting with her about how to be professional and do her job, then drive back home (I work in a different office than my staff - yes it can be awkward at times, but for the most part I make it work - and it's fairly temporary).

Have I mentioned that she has been doing her job for almost 3 years and should already know how to do it? And that she is in her late 30s and has been working for a while, so she should already know how to be professional?

Yeah. Yesterday was a long day.

Here are my personal tips for being professional, gleaned from my experience with this employee:

1. Do not get drunk at a company event and become sexually suggestive to your male coworkers. Also, please don't do this three times in one year.


2. Do not air your personal dirty laundry about your divorce drama, your custody battle, what a bastard your ex is, and how lonely and (and sexless) you are.


3. Do not tell your new boss she seems cold and now that you have figured out that she is "warm" you can work with her. Thanks?
   


4. Do not email and go to your boss's superiors and tell them you want to work for someone else. Your boss will find out, roll her eyes, and then tell you you're stuck with her. Sorry.


5. When your boss is frantically trying to get a vendor paid because YOU spaced, do not come in late that day, then go out to lunch and be unavailable while your boss runs around begging Finance to cut a check for the expense. Then REALLY don't send your boss an email telling her that you came in late, went out to lunch, and the boss should have simply called your cell to get a hold of you.


6. Stop making your boss's work life so frigging hard. PLEASE.

So anyway, that was my day yesterday. The meeting will either work or it won't - I think I'm so numb to dealing with this person that I've come around to a state of zen. Om.