Tuesday.

I was dreaming, but can't remember about what.

My mom bursts into my old bedroom and wakes me up: "Does Tom's mom still work in New York City?"

"No. Why?"

"A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center. It's some weird accident ... it's clear out today."

Get up, throw on clothes, look at the TV. I make my mom sit down -- I'm at my parents' house to help my mom after her surgery. We're the only ones home; Tom is working in DC and my Dad is on his way into work at HUD.

Diane Sawyer is talking about how the plane crash could happen; it's a beautiful day out, what's going on?

The camera is fixed on the the towers. The running commentary continues. I see something come in from the side of the shot: "Wait, what's that?"

"Oh my god, it's another plane. Oh my god, it's another plane!!! What is going on??"

My mom knew immediately that it was an attack. I suppose after all those years working in DC with government agencies, you almost expect it? It still wasn't sticking with me, until the panic set in.

My dad. My boyfriend. Both in the DC area. Mom and I couldn't get a call through until several minutes later; luckily, she caught my dad on the way to work and he turned around. Tom was stuck in Bethesda and couldn't leave because he took Metro. I irrationally yelled at him to get to Stafford as quickly as he could.

The next shot on the TV was of smoke pouring out from behind the OEOB. ABC-7 News realizes it's the Pentagon that's been hit. There's yet another plane. Hell has officially broken loose.

In the end, Tom managed to make it down to my parents' house, as did my dad. We watched the news constantly. I cried harder than I've ever cried. I remember the signs, so many signs, that loved ones made for those who were supposedly missing. I remember the fiancee on the news asking anyone to call her if they saw/found her fiance. He worked at Cantor Fitzgerald, she said.

I thought about our apartment and its proximity to National Airport--would it even still be there when we came back? An irrational thought, but that day, it seemed like anything could happen. I remember the sound of helicopters flying over my parents' house on their way to Quantico. Tom telling me that when he went past the Pentagon stop it just smelled like burned ... everything. I remember being more scared of DC, a city I loved, than ever. DC, the many-time murder capital of the country, and NOW I was afraid.

I managed to get over the fear enough to take a job one block from the White House. I started work on September 17, 2001. I eventually fell in love with DC again. Tom and I got married there; our favorite wedding picture has the Capitol in the background. I still think of it as my "home" city, even though I've now officially lived in Charlottesville longer.

Today I'm thinking of my home city and everyone in New York. I hope that we've all found some sort of peace, in our own way.