Green Thumb, Maybe? We'll See.

So I am not usually a get-out-there-and-get-sweaty girl. I'm more of a sit-in-the-AC-and-watch-other-people-work kind of person. But for some reason, I have always been weirdly obsessed with yard work. Not that I've done a lot of it, mind you, but when I do it sets off some sort of synaptic misfire in which I truly believe I can march into Lowe's, buy a bunch of gardening supplies, and do something with them. Successfully.

I think my interest goes back to being a kid and spending summers with my grandparents. My Pop Pop was an awesome gardener, y'all. He had a huge plot where he grew potatoes, cucumbers, squash, and ... tomatoes. OMG, the tomatoes. They were so good, and to pick one off of the vine and eat it in the warm sunny backyard was summer for me. When I think about my Pop Pop (he passed away in 2001) I always think about those tomatoes and his garden - and I think he would be thrilled that I thought about them. He loved working hard and having something to show for it (he was a carpenter. I like to think he and Jesus are having a grand old time up in Heaven).

*Sniff* Anyway. Gardening.

It all started this weekend when we cleaned up the front yard and I got the notion that if I was good at raking pine needles and leaves, surely I could plant some things and grow some of my own veggies and herbs, right? Then I would really be eating local, har har. Yeah, it was that bad.

I'm Googling "container gardening" and considering what I want to plant. I can't really consider an in-the-ground garden right now because we have loads of deer and if I put in a ton of work into a garden just to have freeloading deer come and eat everything ... oh hell no, Bambis. Grow your own delicious local produce!

(And yes, I know there are deer-preventing things you can do. I'll research them but right now I'm sacrificing logic for sarcasm. Shocking, I know.)

So yeah, another plan in place - I've heard container gardening is relatively easy so hopefully I'll have something to show for my efforts. I can feel my thumb turning green already!

Same Old, Same Old

Still working away on this cleanse thing. Lost another pound last week for a total of 8.5 in three weeks. Not bad for my slow-losing self! 31.5 pounds to go ...

Can we talk for a quick minute about The Biggest Loser this season? I was so inspired last season by Shay and Abby and their respective stories, and this season ... meh. It's still incredible to see everyone shed the weight so quickly, but I'm not super into it this season. Methinks they're just airing seasons too close together. Then I caught a TLC special on season 3's winner Eric, the one who gained most of his weight back and is now trying to lose it again. I would have felt sorry for his gains if I wasn't more concerned about his narcissistic need to be on TV all the time. Guy's got bigger problems than an addiction to fast food.

Otherwise, it's just the same old routine for us as we head into Spring, although this is the busy season. My head is already spinning with all of the projects I need to complete by end of Q2 and the Q hasn't even started yet! The husband is also frantic as he hurries to complete the school yearbook by the end of the month. Right as he gets to breathe a sigh of relief, I start traveling in April and May. Good times!

But yes, it's the same old routine ... I really need to think of how to make our busy lives a little more fun/interesting as it warms up outside. We can't save *all* of the fun for summer. Perhaps an Awesome Spring Plan? If I have time, that is.

New Year, New Me?

So the holidays were good -- it felt like a sprint to the finish, but good overall. Lots of family time, good food, and hanging out. Having a wondrous two and a half year old who fully believes in Santa and fRosty the Snowman greatly imporved my enjoyment of the season.

So now, the NEW YEAR. A time for resolutions. Maybe a vow that with a new year will come a new me?

Nah, not really. I like a lot of parts of who I am already. But that doesn't mean I'm not up for change and improvement!

I am making a commitment to continue making fitness and eating well a major part of my life. I have also learned enough about myself over the last year to know that while I do enjoy my treadmill, races are not for me. So I'm not going to do them. I am bringing strength training though, via my favorite yelling Biggest Loser trainer. I'm just doing her 30 Day Shred DVD and some other workouts. Hopefully this will help round out the jogging so the flab can go bye bye. Please, let it go bye bye.

I'm also going to try and perfect a combination of being realistic, compassionate, semi-dead-inside (for business purposes) and snarky. Lately I have been sacrificing one or two of those traits and indulging in the other. I like that I'm all of these things, but when they come out of balance, a lot of my life suffers because of it.

It will take care in both my personal thoughts and actions, but I think I can do it. It's all about growing. Personally, not ass-wise, that is.

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas ...

... Because I am stressin'. Nothing new or different from what anyone else is probably feeling this time of year, but oy. Between trying to finish up projects at work and trying to find the right gifts while not bankrupting myself, it's been kind of hectic around here.

BUT. I am almost done. With more than 2 weeks to spare! I need to hit the mall (ugh) and the local outdoor shopping center (blargh) but then I'm done with gifts. The tree and decorations are already up, and the holiday cards are in. Now to just actually address them and get them in the mail ...

I'm really digging this holiday season so far. It helps to have an enthusiastic toddler who wakes up every morning as enamored (or more so) of the Christmas tree as he was the previous day. And when he says, "I'm happy and excited for Christmas, Mommy!," well my heart grows three sizes.

It also snowed this past weekend, probably the earliest we've had snow since moving here 5 years ago. It was fun to watch B's reaction to it, and it definitely helped with the holiday spirit.

I'll post more thoughts later on the holidays, including one of my favorite times, Christmas Eve.

Thankful.

This is so late, with Thanksgiving come and gone, but I still want to list some of the many things I am thankful for. Even the things that make me cranky.

In no certain order, I'm thankful for things big and small:

My family, even though they drive me crazy. Including my patient and loving husband and my completely impatient but adorable and charming toddler.

Facebook. I can't abide Twitter and email is fine, but Facebook is my hub of choice because I can be as active or passive as I want and everyone I know is in one place. Now if it would just stop with the crazy slowdowns and bugs and whatnot.

My body. As big as it is right now, it is getting smaller and healthier. It allowed me to complete a 5K this fall, and with (hopefully) a more dedicated training program, will allow me to complete an 8K in April and a 10K next November. My body allows me to do some really cool things when I get out of my own way.

Reality TV. If I'm ever feeling down, I can watch Biggest Loser or my personal favorite, Tough Love, to become inspired or grateful that I am not dating anymore. Yeesh.

Also, decent scripted shows. Thank you Mad Men, Glee, Lost, 30 Rock, and Modern Family for providing entertainment that doesn't make me roll my eyes or want to throw things. Also, thank you Yo Gabba Gabba and Thomas the tank Engine for entertaining B, so he won't want to throw things.

My job, for many reasons. I'm thankful to have a job at all, but I'm especially thankful or the flexibility and (until recently) unknown appreciation from my company's execs. I'm thankful that I'll get a chance to create my own path; I'm excited to see where it goes.

Uncle Ben's Ready Rice. I seriously love the convenience of this stuff. They even have Basmati and Jasmine varieties! What's not to love?

My iPod. I've completely given up CDs and just buy what I want from iTunes. It suits my non-commitment music personality.

Coupons. Oh coupons, in this recession where would I be without you?

The coming year. It's another year to live my life, make plans, and see what I can accomplish. It's also hopefully another year to mellow out my Type A tendencies (yeah right) and become a little wiser.

I Will Be So Glad When This is Done!

And by "this" I mean, of course, this #!%&@ 5K. I am over training for it, I am over panicking about looking stupid while running it, I am. over. it.

You know I'm over it when I'm doing that writer crutch thing of putting a period after every word for emphasis.

But, to my credit (have to give yourself a little credit every once in a while), I'm doing fine with training. It's just sucky because I'm putting pressure on myself even when I try not to. I don't know ... I'm weird, OK?

Other than prepping for the 5K we're putting together packing lists and whatnot for our grand road trip up to Long Island to see the in-laws, attend a wedding, and celebrate my SIL's engagement. This trip is bringing on a whole other level of stress, but I am trying to focus on the good and visualize a smooth trip. If I envision it, it will happen, right?

I'm also debating whether to blog about something kind of judgy but irritating, but wondering if I should since peeps who read this blog will know exactly what I'm bitching about ... hmmm ...

Oh, and it's Tuesday. Looking forward to watching Fat People Crying while noshing on low-fat pumpkin bread. It's my night off from jogging.

OhMyGodWhyAmISoLazy??? Part Infinity.

Oy, y'all. My fat lazy arse STILL has not jogged. We're going on almost a month here, kids. It was all going so well, I was in a GROOVE and working out! And THEN.

My freaking back and shoulder decided that fat was better than active and have completely rebelled. Hey, it's not like I have a what-should-be-easy race coming up in 4 weeks or anything ... that I'm running in front of people I know ... hey wait.

The time has come to suck it up and tell my failing body parts what's up, because I am jogging for the first time in a while tonight. The seismic thud you hear coming from Central VA is probably just me passing out ... just ignore it and carry on.

Besides, I have a wedding to go to in two weeks and THEN my sister in law has her wedding coming up in a year. I am a bridesmaid. I cannot be the bridesmaid that makes all the other bridesmaids wear a not-hot dress because I'm the fattest one. You know what I'm talking about.

Church Giggles

I don't know what was up with me last night, but I had serious church giggles. Like shaking, no-noise-making, crying my ass off giggles.

What set it off? An innocuous scene from Community, where Chevy Chase's character is singing some jingle about hand wipes and the way he sings "at the PICNIC!" just set me off. I was a laughing ridiculous fool. You can check it out in Chapter 3 of the online episode (around 18:20)

I think I laughed about that scene all night, and then for like 15 minutes while trying to fall asleep last night.

I don't know if it's the stress getting to me or what, but it seemed hella funny at the time. I haven't laughed like that in a LONG time. I bet if I watched it back now I'd be like, "whatever." But that's the beauty of Church Giggles: even something mildly amusing turns hilariously funny when you are trying not to be loud or disruptive, or wake up your two year old.

I can remember being a kid and being yanked out of a dead sleep by my mom laughing at something on TV. From a floor down. My mom has one of the loudest laughs I've ever heard. It's like an opera singer. It is insane.

I don't want to be that.

Speaking of my mom, her birthday is this Sunday and we're going up to celebrate. I will make her favorite cake (carrot with cream cheese frosting), and it will feel like the official start of Fall. It's nice to have that tradition, especially right now when I'm feeling like everything else in my life is kind of topsy turvy (at least emotionally).

Sounds like I could use some more church giggles.

More Randoms: Now with Updates!

So the client webinar went OK, and seriously, that's being generous. I know I should cut myself some slack because it was the first one, but I was not pleased. Luckily, I've already taken steps to fix the issues we had and make the next one better in both tech and content.

Still haven't jogged. Am suddenly having a hard time caring, which worries me. I know I need to be active to be healthy, and I'm know I'm doing my usual "If I HAVE to do something (5K), then I refuse to prepare for it, so neener." Except that I'm neenering myself, over something that I willingly signed up for. Sometimes I'm just a self-sabotaging idgit. I'll start jogging again soon, but I'm bummed that I still find myself in this behavior pattern.

Potty training B is ... not really going. It's more like practice than training. He LOVES wearing underpants, but isn't quite attuned to when he has to go, so there have been quite a few accidents. It's frustrating, but since we've started early, I'm hoping things will fall into place eventually.

What else? I'm doing some light GMAT review, and have realized that by taking my time in taking this exam, I may not end up in B School until 2013. Again, kind of frustrating, but since my getting an MBA is not a time-sensitive thing, I'm actually OK with the wait. Maybe I'll have my act together more by then!

Um, also -- B has started asking for a brother, inspired by the Family episode of Yo Gabba Gabba:



Dude, I thought you liked being an only? Also: I think you'll be waiting a while.

Back to It

So after my awesome breakthrough/empowerment/hear me roar/blah blah, I took a week off from jogging.

Why? Because I'm lazy/busy with other things.

But I was back to it yesterday, with the gripping fear in the back of my mind that I have only about 2 more months until I have to JOG IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE.

Yep, the motivation was back, big time.

Otherwise, life is toodling along: Summer's almost officially over, I'm training for this 5K, trying not to get buried at work, and doing a little dance now that football is back in my life.

And I'm waiting on some GMAT study materials. I still want to do it, gripping fear or not. I seem to be doing a lot of staring-into-fear things lately.

As the World Turns ...

... I'm just kind of existing right now. Hence, the lack of a post lately. My life is interfering with my blogging! :P

We've had a few family/life things to attend to lately, as well as work, play, and general family time. We're trying to enjoy the last few weeks of summer, basking in the glow of a successfully accomplished Awesome Summer Plan. I never thought I would like summer after being a kid, but this year we had a great time. I like summer again. Yay!

But ... I LOVE fall. Like full-on butterflies in my stomach oh my god is it here yet when can I start making stews and baking not to mention holiday time LOVE it. I'm watching preseason football games, people. This is how much I am looking forward to fall (and football - if you think I am crazy about fall, I am barely tolerable during football season. LOVE.)

I'm also being a bit of a lazy slug because work is ramping up for the last two quarters of the year and the monthly trips to North Carolina are starting up again. I'm kind of bummed that the lazy summer days are almost over, but I'm kind of excited to get back to a routine. Tom just started his school year so it feels like everything is back in order.

So ... an Awesome Fall Plan, maybe? Not sure - my fall seasons almost always tend to be awesome, so I may not need a plan. But the Cooking by Instinct Plan is still on; I just need to get to it. I just posted a Brown Sugar Cookie recipe on Tasty Kitchen; check it out!

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

We did the family vacation thing ... and it was great!

Really, it was. Yes, even with my parents there! Stop looking at me like that.

With a bit of planning and a lucky score of a nice resort suite at a good rate, our vacation was a success. I think, mostly, because we only planned one thing (taking B to Busch Gardens to see the Sesame Street area) and everything else was whatever--we just did what we wanted.

I think my aversion to agendas might stem from my issues with authority, or maybe one of my other 1 million issues. But I HATE having an agenda, especially on vacation. My husband's uncle takes his family to Disney World every year and everything is planned to the minute from the time they arrive until getting back on the plane. I would riot and run like hell if I was made to do that, but to each their own.

So the first full day we were there we did BG, and my little guy was awesome: he rode rides (save the ride he rode by himself and thus burst into tears, sorry bud)! He politely waited for the other obnoxious kids to get out of the way so he could meet Bert and Ernie! He sat at the table like a big boy at the Festhaus for lunch! The only downside: hot as Hades. We just had B there for the morning through lunch time, which was plenty for a little one. Tom and I returned later that night to ride some roller coasters.

When we weren't sweating our asses off at BG, we spent most of our time hanging out, having pool time (and lunch poolside - at one point, I looked at B and said, "You've got it made, kid. I wasn't eating lunch poolside at a foofy resort when I was 2!") The resort couldn't have been nicer in terms of service and staff -- if you're ever in Williamsburg, check out Kingsmill Resort.

B slept in a toddler bed in our room, which ... yay for him for sleeping fine without a crib, but boo for having him in the same room. B is a really LOUD, spastic sleeper, and every move he made woke me up with a panic that he had fallen out of his bed, or was rifling through the dresser, or something. Ah, well. I will say having a suite rocks -- B could sleep in our room while Tom and I hung out in the living room.

And having my parents there was actually ... nice! They served as a fun attraction for B, allowing Tom and I have to have a fabulous dinner at Le Yaca on our last night. I also love that B is making fun memories with his grandparents--I've been thinking of how we can include Tom's parents on another trip sometime next year. Gotta spread the B love around.

So yeah, our first official family vacation was a big success. Now to figure out our next destination ...

Awesome Summer Plan Check-In!

I'm kind of blanking on new blog topics, so I figured I'd do a little check-in on my Awesome Summer Plan (ASP). It's probably only interesting to me, but whatevs. Here we go!

Treadmill = LOVE. Even though I have yet to jog on it this week, I've been on the thing pretty regularly and it is indeed awesome. Tom and I agree that our favorite part is the hook-up for the iPod with speakers. I'm freeeeee ... no earbuds, no stupid armband that doesn't fit around my chunky arm. Just sweet sweet crappy pop tunes coming out of my treadmill's speakers while I plod along.

And the plodding is going pretty well. I'm back to doing the Couch to 5K program and need to finish the last day of Week 3 and move on to week 4. The last time I did this program, Tom and I signed up for the Turkey Trot at Quantico Marine Base in November 2005. Except it was a 5 MILER, I didn't find out that fact until the day before, and it was 19 degrees outside. If not for the running program, I'd have probably been an ice pop laying in a ditch along the course, instead of the whiny, shuffling pain in the ass that eventually crossed the finish line. Isn't that inspiring?

I'm hoping to sign up for it again (now that I actually know that it's a 5 miler), but I'm hesitant. I think the reason I'm enjoying my treadmill so much is because I'm taking my time, improving my endurance and fitness, on my schedule. If I add a November deadline then there's all this pressure. But I love pressure and deadlines. I'll probably sign up. What could be a better prep for Thanksgiving that getting up early, braving cold weather, and hoofing it around a Marine base?

The local food thing is still going. Not as strongly over the past few weeks since we've been out of town, but we hit the market this Saturday and then on Sunday had a lovely dinner with most of our organic finds. Reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and making an effort to buy local have had a really good effect on my thinking about food. For someone with major food issues, this is in fact awesome.

We get out and about. The family has been great about getting outside to play and getting around to socialize. It's been a nice balance of lazy weekends spent outside with the water table and other fun toys and going out of town to see friends. Next weekend is my son's second birthday party--aside from the planning anxiety, I'm looking forward to it. It'll be another great day of playing and family time -- what this summer has been all about.

I got over myself. Really, I did. I wore a bathing suit in our backyard. I ordered another to wear in front of other people on vacation. I wore short sleeves. I wore skirts. I wear shorts now! Granted, they're Bermuda shorts, but shorts nonetheless. Consequently, I've been a lot more comfortable with being outside and enjoying my time. Go figure.

So there you have it - goals set, goals being attained. It doesn't seem like much, but with summer half over, I'm happy that we've used this time wisely. We're slowing down a bit, having fun, and reminding me of why I loved summer as a kid.

Up next? Vacation starting July 27th!

Whoa. It's June Already?

Well, yes, I know - it's not quite June. We've still got a few May days left. But since I always seem to live my life looking out two weeks ahead, it's basically June for me. I can't believe how fast time is going.

Summer's a big time in my family. Aside from my Awesome Summer Plan and its related activities, there are birthdays galore: my husband's in June; mine, my MIL's, my son's, and my dad's in July; my SIL and GIL in August. There's a whole lotta celebrating going on all summer.

That's my guy in the picture at the top, celebrating his first birthday last year. Can't wait to see if he's as messy with his cake this year (I'm guessing ... probably)

Around this time of year people always start in with the "What would you like for your birthday?" question. Which is lovely of them to plan ahead, but I'm stumped every year as to what to answer. Sure, I have the usual Amazon Wish List of books, music, etc., that are nice to receive, but I really want is time: with my family, my friends, to myself ... more and more time.

And thinner thighs. When are my 10-14 days over so I can get my treadmill already?

A Hamster in a Wheel

I'm starting to feel like that lately: a hamster in a wheel. Going fiercely, but going nowhere - or at least not accomplishing much.

I'm headed out for another business trip, this time to Philly. While I do love biz travel (as previously documented!), between the flights and driving trips to our sales office, I'm starting to grind down. It didn't help that my trip to the sales office last week was for the purpose of dismissing one of my employees.

We've also been spending almost every weekend at my parents' house - we still have friends and activities in their 'hood, plus we like to give them lots of grandparent time with our son.

Don't get me wrong - it's great to be busy (especially in this economy), social, and family-oriented. I have a TON to be thankful for and I do appreciate what I have.

BUT.

I'm exhausted. There's no balance. I feel like a hypocrite when I read Eat, Pray, Love and find so much to relate to, especially the drive to find peace within yourself. Of course I want inner peace and balance -- but I'm doing nothing to accomplish that right now. I need a year off to hit some cool countries and Om my way to inner peace and beauty.

I know -- we're ALL busy. Quit whining. I'm really trying to. Hopefully after this trip I'll have a bit more personal time to actually get my life back in order. I just want my son to stop saying "Bye bye, Mommy!" when I'm playing with him on the weekends. I'm not going anywhere right now, bud. Sigh.

But first, I've gotta get to the airport.