Yeah ... Christmas is Going to be Better this Year.

So last Christmas ... no I did not give you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away.

No, last Christmas, I was covered in hives.

I had some allergic reaction to something, I think it was green peppers but it was never confirmed, and a week before Christmas I was covered head to toe in crazy red itchy hives. I looked like a science experiment. Needless to say, prepping for the holidays was next to impossible while trying to fight my way out of the Benadryl coma I was in. Although when I had to take steroids to help with the reaction, I got A LOT done.

So Christmas last year was weird; I wasn't into it, I felt awful, and the whole thing just felt like it was something I needed to get through.

THIS Christmas, I am feeling merry. Very!

Decorations are up. Tree is decorated. Gifts purchased. Menu chosen. Carols sung on a daily basis, thanks to a toddler who loves them. His excitement has been positively contagious. I am even making cookies with my little guy on Christmas Eve, despite the high odds that we will both end up covered in flour.

Hey, it's better than hives.

And I'm really looking forward to Christmas Eve night with the hubs. Christmas Eve has always been a more quiet, cozy time than the rest of the holiday. It's the soft quiet before the frenzy; a chance to sit together, talk, and think of Christmases past -- living in crappy apartments, or being apart at our respective families' houses because we weren't married yet -- and be really thankful for how far we've come and the family we've built together.

I don't take many opportunities to slow down and think of what I have -- I'm usually too busy looking to accomplish what I haven't -- so it's always nice to take a moment, reminisce, and be grateful.

Work it Out, Work it Out.

So I jogged last night and it was fine. I was a little slower than usual, but not too far off of my usual pace of ... 13 minutes per mile.

Ha! Yes, you read right. I think the tortoise, the hare, and the entire fable-tastic forest would beat my ass in a race. But whatever, I'm doing it and I will be done in under an hour, which is all that the race people require. Done.

I'm jogging again tonight so that I can squeeze in three jogs for this week. We have Little Gym tomorrow night and you know, I just CAN'T miss that. Because nothing caps off a long workday like 20 simultaneous toddler meltdowns over who gets to do a forward roll on the cheese mat first.

So, yes. Three jogs this week and well on my way to hopefully not embarrassing myself on November 21.

Tonight when The Biggest Loser theme song asks me what have I done today to make me feel proud, I'll know. Aw yeah.

Church Giggles

I don't know what was up with me last night, but I had serious church giggles. Like shaking, no-noise-making, crying my ass off giggles.

What set it off? An innocuous scene from Community, where Chevy Chase's character is singing some jingle about hand wipes and the way he sings "at the PICNIC!" just set me off. I was a laughing ridiculous fool. You can check it out in Chapter 3 of the online episode (around 18:20)

I think I laughed about that scene all night, and then for like 15 minutes while trying to fall asleep last night.

I don't know if it's the stress getting to me or what, but it seemed hella funny at the time. I haven't laughed like that in a LONG time. I bet if I watched it back now I'd be like, "whatever." But that's the beauty of Church Giggles: even something mildly amusing turns hilariously funny when you are trying not to be loud or disruptive, or wake up your two year old.

I can remember being a kid and being yanked out of a dead sleep by my mom laughing at something on TV. From a floor down. My mom has one of the loudest laughs I've ever heard. It's like an opera singer. It is insane.

I don't want to be that.

Speaking of my mom, her birthday is this Sunday and we're going up to celebrate. I will make her favorite cake (carrot with cream cheese frosting), and it will feel like the official start of Fall. It's nice to have that tradition, especially right now when I'm feeling like everything else in my life is kind of topsy turvy (at least emotionally).

Sounds like I could use some more church giggles.

More Randoms: Now with Updates!

So the client webinar went OK, and seriously, that's being generous. I know I should cut myself some slack because it was the first one, but I was not pleased. Luckily, I've already taken steps to fix the issues we had and make the next one better in both tech and content.

Still haven't jogged. Am suddenly having a hard time caring, which worries me. I know I need to be active to be healthy, and I'm know I'm doing my usual "If I HAVE to do something (5K), then I refuse to prepare for it, so neener." Except that I'm neenering myself, over something that I willingly signed up for. Sometimes I'm just a self-sabotaging idgit. I'll start jogging again soon, but I'm bummed that I still find myself in this behavior pattern.

Potty training B is ... not really going. It's more like practice than training. He LOVES wearing underpants, but isn't quite attuned to when he has to go, so there have been quite a few accidents. It's frustrating, but since we've started early, I'm hoping things will fall into place eventually.

What else? I'm doing some light GMAT review, and have realized that by taking my time in taking this exam, I may not end up in B School until 2013. Again, kind of frustrating, but since my getting an MBA is not a time-sensitive thing, I'm actually OK with the wait. Maybe I'll have my act together more by then!

Um, also -- B has started asking for a brother, inspired by the Family episode of Yo Gabba Gabba:



Dude, I thought you liked being an only? Also: I think you'll be waiting a while.

Randoms.

Today is our big, first-ever client webinar. I've done all I can to get ready for it; and around 3:15, I will be free! Until next quarter, anyway.

Then I get to focus on our budget for next year, which is always a good time.

The leaves are finally starting to change, the weather's getting cooler, and I'm ready to just *enjoy* Fall already. This stress is harshing my good time! Although last weekend we did hit the Carter Mountain Apple Harvest Festival and had a blast. We're headed up there again this weekend with family to buy our apples/pumpkins/preserves/etc.

Oh, and suddenly we're potty training. B is in love with wearing underpants, and refuses to wear diapers except to sleep, so potty training it is. We've already had some accidents, but we're getting there. Considering that this is about 5 months earlier than I thought we would start--and he is driving it--I think we're doing fine. We'll see how I feel if it's 8 months later and we're still cleaning poo off of the bathroom floor ...

Oh. And. I have not jogged in a week and a half. I have a 5K to run in a little over a month. I have got to get on it, whether my back hurts or I'm traveling or whatever. They've been lovely excuses for the last week and a half, but enough already. The chicks on TBL are starting to catch up to my weight, and you know we can't have that.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

We did the family vacation thing ... and it was great!

Really, it was. Yes, even with my parents there! Stop looking at me like that.

With a bit of planning and a lucky score of a nice resort suite at a good rate, our vacation was a success. I think, mostly, because we only planned one thing (taking B to Busch Gardens to see the Sesame Street area) and everything else was whatever--we just did what we wanted.

I think my aversion to agendas might stem from my issues with authority, or maybe one of my other 1 million issues. But I HATE having an agenda, especially on vacation. My husband's uncle takes his family to Disney World every year and everything is planned to the minute from the time they arrive until getting back on the plane. I would riot and run like hell if I was made to do that, but to each their own.

So the first full day we were there we did BG, and my little guy was awesome: he rode rides (save the ride he rode by himself and thus burst into tears, sorry bud)! He politely waited for the other obnoxious kids to get out of the way so he could meet Bert and Ernie! He sat at the table like a big boy at the Festhaus for lunch! The only downside: hot as Hades. We just had B there for the morning through lunch time, which was plenty for a little one. Tom and I returned later that night to ride some roller coasters.

When we weren't sweating our asses off at BG, we spent most of our time hanging out, having pool time (and lunch poolside - at one point, I looked at B and said, "You've got it made, kid. I wasn't eating lunch poolside at a foofy resort when I was 2!") The resort couldn't have been nicer in terms of service and staff -- if you're ever in Williamsburg, check out Kingsmill Resort.

B slept in a toddler bed in our room, which ... yay for him for sleeping fine without a crib, but boo for having him in the same room. B is a really LOUD, spastic sleeper, and every move he made woke me up with a panic that he had fallen out of his bed, or was rifling through the dresser, or something. Ah, well. I will say having a suite rocks -- B could sleep in our room while Tom and I hung out in the living room.

And having my parents there was actually ... nice! They served as a fun attraction for B, allowing Tom and I have to have a fabulous dinner at Le Yaca on our last night. I also love that B is making fun memories with his grandparents--I've been thinking of how we can include Tom's parents on another trip sometime next year. Gotta spread the B love around.

So yeah, our first official family vacation was a big success. Now to figure out our next destination ...

2 Years Ago Today.

Two years ago today, I was chilling in the maternity ward of Martha Jefferson Hospital. We had checked in an hour ago because my water broke around midnight. I remember bursting into tears when that happened --sure, because I was scared, because you were going to be three weeks early, because I thought I needed more time.

But I cried the most because the blinds to your windows weren't in yet, and the nursery wasn't perfect. Your mom is Type A, she can't help it.

Four rounds of Pitocin and one C-section later, you were here. And suddenly nothing else mattered.

One year ago today, I remember thinking how quickly twelve months could move. You were almost walking, and you had already said your first word, on your way to compiling many many more. I couldn't believe what a big boy you were.

Today I dropped you off at school, where you speak in sentences and have a posse of little friends and run around like crazy. You dance and play and have such a great little personality. Much like last year, I can't believe what a big boy you are.

Happy Birthday, little guy. I look forward to marveling at your awesomeness for another year.

Happy Birthday, Babe!

Today is my husband's birthday. So begins the summer birthday gauntlet!

I know I ragged on his planning skills in my vacation post; so in honor of the beginning of his 32nd year, here are some things I love about him instead:

• Puts up with my crap, mostly. This is huge, as I am full of it.
• Actually does plan when he wants to -- he's doing a great job of helping me investigate preschools for B.
• Is a GREAT dad. A really, really great dad. When I watch him with B, my cold black heart grows three sizes.
  
• Serves as House Husband during the summer when he's working fewer hours. Hello, clean bathrooms; how I love thee.
• He always encourages me to go for whatever I'm interested in, even if it might make his life a pain in the ass for a while.
• He cooks. And bakes. Real men do both of these things, and do them well.
  
• After all these years, he's still cute. Seriously!

Anyway, that's just a short list of awesome things. Happy Birthday! I love you.

Two Tickets to (Colonial) Paradise

I booked our family vacation this weekend.

Oh yeah, I said vacation. We're going to Williamsburg: short drive, nice resort, relaxing time mixed in with a theme park. I'm probably more excited about this than I should be, but you have to know our history of planning trips to know how significant this is. The history usually runs like this:

Me: Let's *do* something this summer.

Hubs: OK.

Me: Great! I'll look up some places and we can pick something.

Hubs: Cool.

**A month goes by, I'm the only one looking into anything, I get bitter and stop. We go nowhere.**

Lather, rinse, repeat for like a million years.

I HATE planning trips, for the above scenario plays out over and over every time I want to do something. We were on our way down this road again in the spring, when I wanted to plan a beach trip and everyone was on board with the notion as long as I did the research, booking, etc. So once again, I got bitter ...

... and bought a treadmill.

But then, like cockroaches and Speidi, the vacation notion just wouldn't die: My mom mentioned that there's a Sesame Street section of Busch Gardens, for smaller kids. So I started thinking about going down to Williamsburg, maybe staying somewhere nice, just doing one day at the park, etc. My little guy would have fun, but it wouldn't be too overwhelming. We could still relax. We kicked the idea around for about a week and it was starting to fizzle ...

And then my brain was like, "Aw HALE no, we are not getting robbed of a vacation again!" So while my husband took a nap on Saturday, I booked the entire trip--resort, tickets to the park, everything. By the time he woke up he was on his way to Williamsburg.

Yes, I had to do all the planning again. But I'm getting a trip. And my treadmill. See, ladies? Sometimes you can have it all. Try not to be jealous.

The Usual

I have a a few post topics in my head, but life is kind of getting in the way right now:

• I'm moving offices for the 7th time in 2 1/2 years. Hey, at least I get a window this time; I'll make sure to enjoy it before my next inevitable move!

• We're trying to plan a short mini-trip to Williamsburg.

• Work is stressful. That's all I'll say about it.

But hey, the ASP is rolling right along:

• My little guy starts his first Beast class tonight. Should be fun and cute!

• We're still doing the local food thing; dinner tonight is pasta with homemade pesto and sauteed zucchini and squash. Yes I realize that pesto is so 90s but it's also nice and summery, so back off food snobs!
  

The only ASP bummer I'm experiencing right now is that I still haven't heard anything about my treadmill coming, and it should be here later this week or early next week. Need to call and harass a SOLE customer rep, methinks.

Oh and somehow I got sucked back into the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I guess I'm just a sucker for the accents.

More Plans

I'm just plugging along, getting projects done -- both professional and personal.

Up next in the personal projects? Another book (possibly The Thirteenth Tale, it seems like a fun spooky read) and some sort of Physical Activity plan. I've got figure out something to do with myself to spur the rest of my weight loss. I'm trying not to obsess about the weight like usual, yet still stay motivated. It's difficult.

My son has already embraced his physical activity: Little Gym classes this summer. He'll be a Beast. And I'll try not to lunge at the first kid who knocks him over during class. Hey, I have restraint! Sort of.

As for the rest of the plans:

The Get More Sleep plan started out strong this week and has faltered a bit, but I'm getting back to it tonight. The Cook More at Home plan included a family meal last night courtesy of my husband, and I made homemade chicken stock. I feel so Ina Garten!

Now I need an Awesome Summer plan. We'll see how that goes; I may need to implement a Don't Blind People with Your Paleness plan first.

A Hamster in a Wheel

I'm starting to feel like that lately: a hamster in a wheel. Going fiercely, but going nowhere - or at least not accomplishing much.

I'm headed out for another business trip, this time to Philly. While I do love biz travel (as previously documented!), between the flights and driving trips to our sales office, I'm starting to grind down. It didn't help that my trip to the sales office last week was for the purpose of dismissing one of my employees.

We've also been spending almost every weekend at my parents' house - we still have friends and activities in their 'hood, plus we like to give them lots of grandparent time with our son.

Don't get me wrong - it's great to be busy (especially in this economy), social, and family-oriented. I have a TON to be thankful for and I do appreciate what I have.

BUT.

I'm exhausted. There's no balance. I feel like a hypocrite when I read Eat, Pray, Love and find so much to relate to, especially the drive to find peace within yourself. Of course I want inner peace and balance -- but I'm doing nothing to accomplish that right now. I need a year off to hit some cool countries and Om my way to inner peace and beauty.

I know -- we're ALL busy. Quit whining. I'm really trying to. Hopefully after this trip I'll have a bit more personal time to actually get my life back in order. I just want my son to stop saying "Bye bye, Mommy!" when I'm playing with him on the weekends. I'm not going anywhere right now, bud. Sigh.

But first, I've gotta get to the airport.