New Year, New Me?

So the holidays were good -- it felt like a sprint to the finish, but good overall. Lots of family time, good food, and hanging out. Having a wondrous two and a half year old who fully believes in Santa and fRosty the Snowman greatly imporved my enjoyment of the season.

So now, the NEW YEAR. A time for resolutions. Maybe a vow that with a new year will come a new me?

Nah, not really. I like a lot of parts of who I am already. But that doesn't mean I'm not up for change and improvement!

I am making a commitment to continue making fitness and eating well a major part of my life. I have also learned enough about myself over the last year to know that while I do enjoy my treadmill, races are not for me. So I'm not going to do them. I am bringing strength training though, via my favorite yelling Biggest Loser trainer. I'm just doing her 30 Day Shred DVD and some other workouts. Hopefully this will help round out the jogging so the flab can go bye bye. Please, let it go bye bye.

I'm also going to try and perfect a combination of being realistic, compassionate, semi-dead-inside (for business purposes) and snarky. Lately I have been sacrificing one or two of those traits and indulging in the other. I like that I'm all of these things, but when they come out of balance, a lot of my life suffers because of it.

It will take care in both my personal thoughts and actions, but I think I can do it. It's all about growing. Personally, not ass-wise, that is.

Yeah ... Christmas is Going to be Better this Year.

So last Christmas ... no I did not give you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away.

No, last Christmas, I was covered in hives.

I had some allergic reaction to something, I think it was green peppers but it was never confirmed, and a week before Christmas I was covered head to toe in crazy red itchy hives. I looked like a science experiment. Needless to say, prepping for the holidays was next to impossible while trying to fight my way out of the Benadryl coma I was in. Although when I had to take steroids to help with the reaction, I got A LOT done.

So Christmas last year was weird; I wasn't into it, I felt awful, and the whole thing just felt like it was something I needed to get through.

THIS Christmas, I am feeling merry. Very!

Decorations are up. Tree is decorated. Gifts purchased. Menu chosen. Carols sung on a daily basis, thanks to a toddler who loves them. His excitement has been positively contagious. I am even making cookies with my little guy on Christmas Eve, despite the high odds that we will both end up covered in flour.

Hey, it's better than hives.

And I'm really looking forward to Christmas Eve night with the hubs. Christmas Eve has always been a more quiet, cozy time than the rest of the holiday. It's the soft quiet before the frenzy; a chance to sit together, talk, and think of Christmases past -- living in crappy apartments, or being apart at our respective families' houses because we weren't married yet -- and be really thankful for how far we've come and the family we've built together.

I don't take many opportunities to slow down and think of what I have -- I'm usually too busy looking to accomplish what I haven't -- so it's always nice to take a moment, reminisce, and be grateful.

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas ...

... Because I am stressin'. Nothing new or different from what anyone else is probably feeling this time of year, but oy. Between trying to finish up projects at work and trying to find the right gifts while not bankrupting myself, it's been kind of hectic around here.

BUT. I am almost done. With more than 2 weeks to spare! I need to hit the mall (ugh) and the local outdoor shopping center (blargh) but then I'm done with gifts. The tree and decorations are already up, and the holiday cards are in. Now to just actually address them and get them in the mail ...

I'm really digging this holiday season so far. It helps to have an enthusiastic toddler who wakes up every morning as enamored (or more so) of the Christmas tree as he was the previous day. And when he says, "I'm happy and excited for Christmas, Mommy!," well my heart grows three sizes.

It also snowed this past weekend, probably the earliest we've had snow since moving here 5 years ago. It was fun to watch B's reaction to it, and it definitely helped with the holiday spirit.

I'll post more thoughts later on the holidays, including one of my favorite times, Christmas Eve.

Thankful.

This is so late, with Thanksgiving come and gone, but I still want to list some of the many things I am thankful for. Even the things that make me cranky.

In no certain order, I'm thankful for things big and small:

My family, even though they drive me crazy. Including my patient and loving husband and my completely impatient but adorable and charming toddler.

Facebook. I can't abide Twitter and email is fine, but Facebook is my hub of choice because I can be as active or passive as I want and everyone I know is in one place. Now if it would just stop with the crazy slowdowns and bugs and whatnot.

My body. As big as it is right now, it is getting smaller and healthier. It allowed me to complete a 5K this fall, and with (hopefully) a more dedicated training program, will allow me to complete an 8K in April and a 10K next November. My body allows me to do some really cool things when I get out of my own way.

Reality TV. If I'm ever feeling down, I can watch Biggest Loser or my personal favorite, Tough Love, to become inspired or grateful that I am not dating anymore. Yeesh.

Also, decent scripted shows. Thank you Mad Men, Glee, Lost, 30 Rock, and Modern Family for providing entertainment that doesn't make me roll my eyes or want to throw things. Also, thank you Yo Gabba Gabba and Thomas the tank Engine for entertaining B, so he won't want to throw things.

My job, for many reasons. I'm thankful to have a job at all, but I'm especially thankful or the flexibility and (until recently) unknown appreciation from my company's execs. I'm thankful that I'll get a chance to create my own path; I'm excited to see where it goes.

Uncle Ben's Ready Rice. I seriously love the convenience of this stuff. They even have Basmati and Jasmine varieties! What's not to love?

My iPod. I've completely given up CDs and just buy what I want from iTunes. It suits my non-commitment music personality.

Coupons. Oh coupons, in this recession where would I be without you?

The coming year. It's another year to live my life, make plans, and see what I can accomplish. It's also hopefully another year to mellow out my Type A tendencies (yeah right) and become a little wiser.

48:22; 536 out of 587

Yep - that's my time and my finishing place in the 5K this weekend.

I wish I had done better, but you know it's all about the journey, blah blah. I am proud of myself for training for something and doing it; I just wish I could have really hit the inspirational mark of doing better than I thought, or really kicking ass, or something. I suppose getting off my dead ass and doing something at all is pretty kick ass, though.

Also, and here's where the excuses start!, I was battling a pretty hefty allergy attack. I sounded like I smoked 3 packs a day and I couldn't breathe through my nose. So I suppose, for an overweight snotty mouth-breather, I did pretty well.

The coolest thing for me though was the feeling afterward: No, not the immediate feeling of wanted to throw up/pass out because I started my kick too early and the finish line was farther away than I estimated. Once I sat down and had some water, I felt ... good. Really good. Not dead, not exhausted. I felt good, like someone who's working toward being healthier who accomplished a goal. So I guess, despite my tortoise-like time, it was a big victory for me.

And now I'm plotting. The Charlottesville Marathon/Half Marathon/8K is coming up in April. I'm aiming low for the 8K, but who knows ... maybe a half is in my future? I'm getting back on my treadmill tonight; we'll see where it takes me next.

Get Ready!

Tomorrow's the big race day! I'm actually feeling pretty good about it, hoping to just have fun and get through it.

I'm currently battling an allergy attack that has left me with a crazy throat situation and no voice, so that should be interesting. My practice jog went OK yesterday so hopefully tomorrow will be fine.

So ... catch ya on the flip side when I will be DONE with this 5K! And then I'll probably write some sort of philosophical/sappy entry afterward about my training journey. I know you're excited.

Still Around ...

Still jogging, still hanging with family, still watching The Biggest Loser, still trying to watch my weight, still trying to figure out what the hell is up with my job.

Just feeling quite a bit down lately and not sure what to do about it yet. I'm pondering.